The Tuxedo (2002)
Rating (1 to 10) : 5
Summary: A spoof of James Bond using
the talents of Jackie Chan and a very special tuxedo.
Remember that phrase, “A suit makes a man”? In this movie, Jimmy Tong (Jackie Chan, Chong Wang from “Shanghai Noon”) transforms from a Hooters T-shirt wearing cab driver to a suave, sophisticated James Bond-like secret agent by wearing a special tuxedo, the central prop of this movie. While tuxedos can transform an average Joe into ZZ Top’s “Sharp Dressed Man”, this tuxedo does everything from giving Jimmy bionic powers rivaling the Six Million Dollar Man to giving him the mojo that Austin Powers frequently mentions. This special tuxedo is something even Q in the Bond films couldn’t invent.
Jimmy’s new double life starts out when a particular passenger named Steena (Debi Mazar) challenges him to drive her to her destination in record time for double the meter fare. Jimmy beats it, breaking the stereotype of the typical slow Asian driver in the process and getting the job as a live-in chauffeur of a rich businessman named Clark Devlin (Jason Isaacs, Col. Tavington in “The Patriot”).
Devlin is actually a senior agent for the CSA, a secret service branch of the US government. He is in the midst of investigating the villain, Diedrich Banning (Ritchie Coster), the CEO of a drinking water company who conspires to corner the global water market by tainting the world’s supply. In the midst of his investigation, Devlin is injured and hospitalized with serious injuries, unable to continue his work. So, you guessed it, Jimmy takes his place and assumes Devlin’s identity, all without the prior knowledge of the higher-ups at CSA.
The CSA sends a rookie agent, Del Blaine (Jennifer Love Hewitt, Paige Conners in “Heartbreakers”) to help Devlin’s investigations. She meets Jimmy Tong but has never met Devlin and so assumes Jimmy is Devlin. This leads to the comedic story similar to an episode of “Get Smart”. I won’t spoil what few surprises and suspense this movie offers by divulging more.
This isn’t one of Jackie Chan’s finer roles – he was funnier in his other movies like “Shanghai Noon” or “Rush Hour”. Although Jackie does a good job of conveying a sense of confusion and lack of control of his motor skills as his tuxedo goes to action in some scenes, this role doesn’t stretch his martial art or stunt skills. It’s unusual for a prop to take center stage but in this case, the central prop, the special tuxedo, detracted from Jackie Chan’s performance because it focused attention away from him. A character in the movie, the real Clark Devlin, said, ‘90% of it is clothes‘. How profound; in actuality 40% of the movie is the tuxedo.
Jennifer Love Hewitt doesn’t really add much in the supporting role except for some smart-alecky remarks you’d expect from a teenage daughter. She was cast to be the beautiful actress added to provide sexual tension to the film. She does look good but her acting (and her looks) was better in “Heartbreakers.”
There are some interesting cameos. It looks like some members of Cirque du Soleil were included in the film doing their acrobatic show – makes sense since the movie was shot in Toronto. James Brown, the Godfather of Soul, also makes a cameo as himself. As part of the movie, Jimmy Tong has to replace James Brown on stage because of an unforeseen accident, and with the help of the tuxedo, he’s good enough to be called the “Last Emperor of Soul.”
The ironic thing is that there is a serious message wrapped up in the film. Clean drinking water is a valuable and shrinking commodity. As populations and pollutions increase, it will become scarcer. The villain, Dietrich, points all these facts out (this scene was part of the extended scenes on the DVD) while explaining his conspiracy. This scarcity is something that should be addressed by the world governments or drinking water will be so valued that it will be fought for like oil.
The movie is OK – a renter, not necessarily a movie you needed to see on the big screen.
Memorable quotes:
Del Blaine: And once again, we end up with nothing.
Jimmy: I can get her to talk.
Del Blaine: And say what? (imitating Cheryl with a ditzy voice) ‘Oh Emperor, would you sign my bra? Ooops! I’m not wearing one. Aha’
Jimmy: What is it with you and bras? She has information.
Del Blaine: Oh right, and that’s why you have to go up to her hotel room.
Jimmy: You have never seen my work. This is what Clark Devlin does best.
Del Blaine: Can I go home?
Jimmy: No, you have to cover me.
Del Blaine: With what? A shot of penicillin?
Jimmy: Huh?
Del Blaine (explaining why Dietrich’s plan won’t work): The lifecycle of the Gerris Haginatus begins with mating, something Dr. Simms is personally not familiar with.
[…]
Del Blaine: …so simply it is too cold for them to mature sexually, much like Simms here. Therefore they won’t mate. Therefore they won’t seek out water.
Dietrich: Is this true?
Dr. Simms: No, I knew a girl once, in college, quite well, very well, and then you remember cousin Doris…
Dietrich: No Simms, the bugs!
Dr. Simms: The bug, oh!?!? You’re not going to believe this hoochie are you Mr. Banning?